Funny language stories

Videos, well-intentioned translations and deep-meaning signposts

It is great to be able to speak other languages. On the other hand, not being able to speak other languages can actually be exhilarating....at least for others. Go on, smile or even laugh out loud.

Go on YouTube with us! We have compiled a selection of funny videos and sketches on language and foreign languages.

Many of our customers have even sent us amusing photographs of signs with funny wording. Language can be a proper maze!

Do you too have a funny snapshot or an amusing video? Then please send it to us! We look forward to receiving your submissions. A reward will be given for every submission published.

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In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Tokyo bar:
Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts

In a Belgrade elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
On a menu in a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Bangkok cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results

Video: What time is it?

Video: Seenot

Video: Helpdesk

In a Hong Kong dress shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
From the "Soviet weekly":
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In an East African newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In Germany's Black Forest:
It is strickly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men & women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.
An ad by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Czech tourist agency:
Take one of our horse driven tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Ad for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride your own ass?
Swiss mountain inn:
Special today--no ice cream.

On a faucet in a Finnish restroom:
To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.
On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed like a man.
Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
Japanese instructions on an air conditioner:
Cooles & Heates. If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking; Here speeching American.
Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic:
No smoothen the lion.
A notice in a Japanese hotel:
Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9&11 am daily.
Car rental brochure in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
On a menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In another Japanese hotel room:
Please to bathe inside the tub.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
On a Highway near Nairobi:
Take notice: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

On a poster:
Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help.
In a city restaurant:
Open seven days a week and weekends
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
Do not activate with wet hands
In a cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

A Hotel's Rules and Regulations, Tokyo:
Persons are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.